Ah, you spent your entire life with your beloved hair. It was always there for you – your first kiss, your first drink, and so on. Your hair always had your back, until suddenly, it vanished. You’re going bald at 20 years old. This would be fine if you were 30, 40, 50 – hell, anything but 20! How can you get through your early 20’s when you’re bald? Can bald guys even get girls? Is life as you knew it over?
No – chill out. Everything is going to be fine, I started balding at 20 too and I got through it. Life is pretty amazing now, and I think dealing with thinning hair at such a young age actually had a huge impact on my life. This post is something I wish I had when I was going bald at 20.
On Losing Your Confidence Because You’re Bald
Despite the fact that confidence is an intangible aspect of your existence and your hair is a tangible collection of protein strands, they do still relate to each other. I’m not saying it’s logical (it’s not), I’m just saying that’s the way it seems to be.
There’s an old saying – “Look good, feel good.”
The saying is true, and it’s applicable here. For some unfortunate reason, guys think that when they’re bald they don’t look good. And since they think they don’t look good, they don’t feel good.
Well, for starters – you probably don’t look as bad as you think. Nobody is more critical of you than you are to yourself, and that’s the truth. There are plenty of things you can do to make the most of your look, but more on that later. Stop being so critical of yourself, chill out, and read the other posts on this site about maximizing your appearance.
The reality is this: if you lost your confidence because you started balding at 20 or so, then you were never truly confident in the first place. True confidence does not get interrupted by a change in hairline, true confidence comes from within and is unchanging. Don’t feel bad though – most people never experience “true” confidence in their lifetime. Very few guys are truly confident enough that they can act as they truly are despite changing external circumstances.
Going Bald at 20 – A Golden Opportunity
Guys – I wish somebody had told me this when I starting losing my hair at 20. A lot of guys feel bad about going bald and they just mellow in their sadness for a while and eventually learn to accept themselves. I recommend a different route – it goes something like this.
- Accept that you’re experiencing hair loss, realize you can’t change it
- Focus on improving yourself in other aspects of your life that you can control
- After truly investing in yourself, you will inevitably become a top-tier guy
The best thing you can do to improve your confidence is to really just do things that make you a better man. Most guys don’t get into the “self-improvement” game until mid-late 20s, so having this head start at such a young age is a great opportunity.
So how do you improve yourself? Honestly, just do things outside of your comfort zone, pump your brain with healthy information, repeat, and along the way you’ll eventually realize “wow, I’m a pretty awesome person.”
The Bald Dudes Improvement Plan
- Get in shape
- If you aren’t already, you need to start lifting. I personally am very partial to the 5×5 program. It’s quick, effective, and simple. If you can’t afford weights or a gym membership, try doing bodyweight exercises. Getting exercise is absolutely foundational to improving yourself. The benefits of exercise have been proven time and time again. Exercise has been clinically proven to mitigate the effects of depression, improve confidence, and improve overall health.
- Search the app store for the 5×5 Stronglifts app, use it and go to the gym 3x a week. Within a month you’ll notice how much better you feel and probably see a marked improvement in your appearance.
- Read Books
- “A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone if it is to keep its edge” -Tyrion Lannister
- Books will give you more information and experiences to draw from in your everyday life. This gives you so many benefits – improved decision making, more stuff to talk about, improved perspectives, etc.
- If you read any or all of these, you’ll be on a great track.
- Listen to podcasts.
- Podcasts are awesome, and you can listen to them while you’re at the gym. Much like books, they just give you new perspectives and information to draw from in your everyday life. We like to recommend the Tim Ferriss Podcast and the Joe Rogan Experience. Basically, both podcasts revolve around having enlightening conversations with successful people. Podcasts can be incredibly informative and motivational for guys looking to improve their life.
- Step Out of Your Comfort Zone, often
- When guys are going bald at 20, it’s easy for them to just kind of cage themselves off and not try new things. DO NOT DO THIS! You need to get out and there, try new things, and continue to grow.
- There are a few things you can try
- Join an Improv Club
- Take a Salsa dancing class
- Take up a martial art (We are partial to Jiu Jitsu)
- Join a rock gym
- Anything else you every wanted to try but couldn’t build up the courage to do? Just do it. You’ll be glad you did, and regret it if you don’t. Take
- Doing any of the activities above will just make you a more rounded, interesting guy. Plus – they’re great places to meet people and build friendships, which are paramount to a quality life.
You’re Still Attractive to Girls
This is probably your primary concern – You’re 20 years old, you want to go out to parties, bars, etc., to go get laid! One night stands, woo!
I’m not here to tell you what you should be doing in your sex life. Personally, I’ve never been huge on one night stands, though I understand the impulse, especially at 20 years old.
What I’m here for is the help you get what you want despite being bald – if you want girls, you can absolutely still get girls. 10 years from now, when you’re 30, you’ll realize that girls don’t really care about your hair. They care about your lasting traits – your humor, your wit, your humility, things about you that don’t fade.
In my early 20’s, I knew a guy, let’s call him Mark. Mark was an absolute twig, a balding, scrawny, tall and awkward looking guy. Despite his obvious physical imperfections, he was one of the most sexually successful people I have ever known. How? Don’t looks matter?
Well, the thing about Mark was that he had a quality that girls loved – he did not care what anybody thought of him. He was not afraid to make a fool of himself, he was not afraid of rejection, he was not afraid of virtually any nightmarish social scenario. He was funny, not because of witty jokes or a supreme intellect, but because of his willingness to say and do things that the majority of people would be scared to do.
I’m sure the majority of men have encountered “Marks” in their own life. Do you see what I’m getting at here?
Your appearance will not stop you from getting girls. Your level of confidence will determine your success in that regard.
We’re lucky as guys because girls aren’t as shallow in selecting a mate as we are. They are forced, by nature, to overlook appearance (to an extent) and to be more selective with who they pair with based on more lasting traits. Because of that, hair isn’t as important to them as other qualities. So, just improve yourself as a person, see above, and the girls will follow. Going bald at 20 isn’t that bad as a guy, guys go bald – it’s normal. We’re lucky that girls aren’t as superficial as us when it comes to dating.
Per usual, I am a fan of books to help you in life, and there are books that will certainly help you with women.
Books That Will Help You Get Girls
- The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
- Models: Attract Women Through Honesty
(Absolute Must Read)
- The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature
Those books will surely give you some new things to think about, and get you further on your way to self improvement and being the best person you can be.
Plus, we recommend checking out our post dating as a bald guy.
How to be Cool With Going Bald at 20
Alright, so here’s the deal. You’re the only bald guy you know at your age. Whenever you go out to to bar or parties, everyone has thick, beautiful hair because everyone is 20, and most 20 year olds have hair. That is the reality.
I started losing my hair at 19, I shaved it by 20, and have been rocking it comfortably ever since. Don’t look at yourself as a young bald guy, look at yourself as a young guy because that is what you are. Do not subscribe yourself to labels.
It’s good to keep perspective. You’re only 20 years old, there are 35+ year olds with full heads of hair that would happily trade being 35 with hair for being 20 and bald. A few years from now, you’ll look back and laugh that losing your hair worried you so much. You still have so much opportunity ahead of you!
You’ll Still Get Girls Your Age Even though You’re Going Bald at 20
We talked above about dating generally as a bald guy, but not specifically as a 20 year old. So to answer that worry – Yep, you can still be balding at 20 and date girls your age. Get on a workout regimen. Improve your self confidence. Be ambitious, chase things you think you aren’t worthy of (you are worthy, by the way). Pretty much just follow the plan above.
I understand, you might be reading this thinking “it’s easy for him to sit and type this, but does he actually believe any of this?” YES! I do believe it, all of it. I lived through it not too long ago.
In my early 20’s, I was by no means a “go to the bar, get new girl every night” kind of guy. Despite that, I had numerous flings with conventionally quality girls, 2 long term (>6 month) relationships, and I also turned down my fair share of opportunities. (Read my story here)
How? I don’t know exactly how, but I think it’s because I followed a similar track to what I posted above. I did things that boosted my confidence – I took care of myself, I read books, I acquired hobbies. Beyond that, I put myself out there. I figured hey, I’m bald, girls my age probably aren’t going to just walk up to me anymore. So I walked up to them – I got turned down, plenty of times, but I was accepted enough times for it to be worth it.
I’m not special, I’m a pretty normal guy. I graduated from a very middle-tier school, had very middle tier grades, and today I’d still say “I’m a pretty normal guy.” If I can get my needs met, so can you. Balding at 20 is not the end of the world.
The notion that being bald will in anyway hinder your life experience is an unfortunate idea that seems to be spread around way to often. What will actually hinder your life experience is the way you look at the circumstances you face, so start looking at them in a less critical light. Make the best of the cards you’ve been dealt.
Your situation won’t improve if you just wallow about, but if you actively seek to improve yourself – good things will happen.
“Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.” – Tyrion Lannister
This post was was written for young guys that are going bald at 20, but the information can really be applied to guys that are going bald at any age and looking for some guidance.